Carlisle Martin dreams of becoming a professional ballet dancer just like her mother, Isabel, a former Balanchine ballerina. Since they live in Ohio, she only gets to see her father Robert for a few precious weeks a year when she visits Greenwich Village, where he lives in an enchanting apartment on Bank Street with his partner, James.
Brilliant but troubled, James gives Carlisle an education in all that he holds dear in life–literature, music, and most of all, dance. Seduced by the heady pull of mentorship and the sophistication of their lives, Carlisle’s aspiration to become a dancer herself blooms, born of her desire to be asked to stay at Bank Street, to be included in Robert and James’ world even as AIDS brings devastation to their community. Instead, a passionate love affair creates a rift between them, with devastating consequences that reverberate for decades to come.
Nineteen years later, Carlisle receives a phone call which unravels the fateful events of her life, causing her to see with new eyes how her younger self has informed the woman she’s become. They’re Going to Love You is a gripping and gorgeously written novel of heartbreaking intensity. With psychological precision and a masterfully revealed secret at its heart, it asks what it takes to be an artist in America, and the price of forgiveness, of ambition, and of love.
- Title: They’re Going to Love You
- Author: Meg Howrey
- Publisher: Doubleday Books
- Publication Date: November 15th, 2022
- Genre: Historical Fiction, Literary Fiction
- Source: Digital ARC received via NetGalley
- Targeted Age Range: Adult
- Content Warnings: depression, suicide, death of a parent, mentions of cancer, grief, guilt, death of a sibling, homophobia
Oddly enough, I’d heard of They’re Going to Love You first on TikTok. I can’t remember which creator posted a video on it, but I remember seeing something about it being healing for anyone who grew up doing ballet. I’ve been thinking a lot about ballet lately; how much I miss dancing, about my health, and how much ballet culture has affected me even years later. I read Alice Robb’s Don’t Think, Dear: On Loving and Leaving Ballet last month, which is part autobiographical, part nonfiction, and then needed a little bit of a break before jumping into another ballet book.
Meg Howrey’s They’re Going to Love You follows Carlisle Martin, daughter of former Balanchine ballerina Isabel Osmond and Robert, who used to run the Boxhill Dance Festival. As a child, Carlisle craved the time she spent at Bank Street with her father and his partner, James — time away from her mother and her new family, and a time where she was treated as an adult. James takes Carlisle under his wing, and educates her on books, music, and most importantly, ballet. Carlisle’s time at Bank Street truly is the highlight of her year, up until it isn’t. Suddenly, Carlisle’s life is turned around — she’s no longer welcome at Bank Street, and no longer on speaking terms with her father. But when Carlisle receives a call from his partner James nineteen years later letting her know that Robert is in hospice, she finds herself back at Bank Street once again.
They’re Going to Love You is told in two timelines; one in present day with Carlisle being in her 40’s, and one following Carlisle as she grows up. Very early on, the reader is informed of how much Bank Street means to Carlisle, and of her estranged relationship with her father. I was immediately intrigued by the reason for the fall out, and was incredibly invested in how the story would play out. I think the reveal was a little more drawn out than I’d like, and the pacing felt very off as a result. I personally also enjoyed Carlisle’s coming of age storyline more — potentially because I don’t often relate with characters in their 40s.
While there were several aspects of They’re Going to Love You that I didn’t love, I really loved how it approached human relationships, and how complex they can be. Particularly, surrounding Carlisle, and her parental figures: Isabel, Robert, and James. Howrey delights in creating dynamic characters — at times, I was incredibly frustrated with them, and at others, I felt so deeply for them. We’re shown glimpses of Carlisle’s childhood that while may feel small and ordinary, are pivotal moments in Carlisle’s lives. Carlisle, as our main character, is so driven and self-aware. Her loneliness broke my heart, and I felt so badly for her. It was incredibly easy to put myself in her shoes. Throughout the novel, Carlisle struggles with not just her sense of self, but also her relationships with the adults in her life — and how all of that is tied directly to dance. Isabel is balancing what it means to be a mother with the notion that her dreams of ballet are dashed. For James, ballet is an escape from the tragedies of the real world.
One quote in particular haunts me:
“What I totally get is that my father loves James best and James loves Robert best and Isabel loves Yuto and Ben best and everyone I know has someone they love best. I’m no one’s best.”
Carlisle struggles with feeling unwanted and unloved — a direct nod to the novel’s title, They’re Going to Love You. While the story focuses on Carlisle’s relationship with her father, Robert, we do get some closure for the relationship with her mother as well. The phone goes two ways; both parties have to want to make amends and to move forward in order for growth and healing, and we see exactly that.
Something else I loved about They’re Going to Love You is how evident Howrey’s love for ballet is. It truly was palpable, and I felt transported back to my dance studio the entire time I was reading it. Howrey’s writing is simply beautiful. As much as They’re Going to Love You is a story about ballet and art, it’s also about family legacy, and how we’re shaped by our parents. Howrey begs the question of what it means to dream, to love, to heal and to grieve in They’re Going to Love You, and does so with such care. While it felt a little short and unfinished to me, I would still recommend it for its complex relationships and beautiful imagery.
Links for They’re Going to Love You: Goodreads | TheStorygraph | Bookshop | IndieBound
Meg Howrey is the author of the novels THEY’RE GOING TO LOVE YOU, THE WANDERERS, THE CRANES DANCE, and BLIND SIGHT. She is also the coauthor, writing under the pen-name Magnus Flyte, of the New York Times Bestseller CITY OF DARK MAGIC and CITY OF LOST DREAMS. Her non-fiction has appeared in Vogue and The Los Angeles Review of Books. She currently lives in Los Angeles.
Meg was a professional dancer who performed with the Joffrey Ballet and City Ballet of Los Angeles, among others. She made her theatrical debut in James Lapine’s TWELVE DREAMS at Lincoln Center, and received the 2001 Ovation Award for Best Supporting Actress in a Musical for her role in the Broadway National Tour of CONTACT.
